In Loving Memory

Today I will wear bright colors.

Last week at a Karaoke bar we were out having a silly good old time, enjoying our city life before heading out to village life. Laughter filled the air. I looked about surveying all the smiling faces around me and thought how good life was and how blessed I felt. You see, as I have been here experiencing all this joy and adventure, I knew my Uncle Rocky was at home experiencing pain and sickness. He had just decided to go off his nutrition bags after a long fought battle with cancer, so I knew he was in the final stages of the final days.

I thought how is it that I’m here joyous and free experiencing life’s gifts, feeling full and free, when at the same time, he is knowingly experiencing the end of his life? We were in such dramatically different places in life.  You might expect that guilt or sadness followed me, but it didn’t surprisingly. I felt peace. Somehow I understood the gift I was experiencing in that moment. You see, life is something to be lived and to live it as hard as one can. To me this is exactly what my Uncle Rocky did. He lived life hard. He worked hard, followed a dream, had fun, and always smiled. He lived it up I think this is why he was such an influential person to me. So in that moment, I had peace because I knew that I was doing exactly what Uncle Rocky would have done, has done, and would want me to do.

Today I will look for that same peace. Today will be his funeral and all my family will gather to celebrate his life. I will celebrate it too. I’d guess that he’d want me to eat good food and have fun…probably by dancing. I think I can do all those things. Maybe I’ll even buy a jar of pickles just to drink some pickle juice in his honor. Better yet, I’ll promise to paint him a painting, dedicated to him. I recently found the courage to attempt painting. The final boost of inspiration came from my last visit to see him in February when he patiently answered all my questions about each painting hanging in his house that he had painted. I also uncovered his easel from the basement, assembled its creaking body back together, and browsed through his brushes and paints with him watching and revealing his memories.

Thank you for everything. Here is to you.

Cheers!